My Naughty Uncle Priest: A Story

When I was a little kid, my mom discussed to me how my father's childhood best friend and cousin has walked the dark path as an adult. You see, he chose to be a priest and yet, one day it was known in the clan that he has his own bundle of joy. Catholic priests walk the path of celibacy and my uncle priest has gone naughty.

Mom told me his kid should be slightly older than me. I asked her where this cousin could be. All she knew was that the poor child was hidden to keep people from prying on the life of my uncle.

People could not see uncle priest's son so it was surmised that the child lived with its mother and they've lived somewhere far and safe... and upheld the vow of secrecy.

But just last month, we had a grand clan reunion for the first time where uncle priest held for mass. And there he dropped a huge bomb,

Shortly after I was ordained as a priest, my elder brother told me how much he couldn't believe that I decided to become a priest! To celebrate for my so-called graduation have I chosen a different career for my life, he promised to make a prank that will change my life forever. I didn't know what he was up to but I indulged him. Come on, this is my elder brother everyone! But I never thought what was waiting for me. I had no clue.

I returned back home some years after being deployed some places as a priest. I have been to different countries and I was happy for serving God that way. So just imagine my shock when instead of being welcomed like how catholic priests are usually welcomed in different provinces in the country, people were scrutinizing me like I was this some promising kid who'd done something terrible!

Apparently, the joke that my brother played on me was something that tarnishes my reputation in the eyes of my relatives.

They asked me where I was keeping my son.

And I was like, "What son?"

Of course, they'd dismiss my reaction and every explanation that I never had a son as a coverup. I never thought that unbeknownst to me, I'd be living the life of a lie. But don't get me wrong, I never held it against my brother. After all, he did ask for permission. Not to mention that the whole outright absurdity of it is not just fascinating but funny as hell! Pardon me for that.

So I just let the whole thing on. Like my son did grow up until today.

So now, here I am standing in front of you, telling all of you that I never had a son.